Funny Things Heard By Horse People

by Michelle Drum June 01, 2022 3 min read

Funny Things Heard By Horse People

 We've all over heard things trainers and riders say, at the in-gate, schooling ring or home during lessons. We asked our customers and staff to recall the most amusing things they've heard over the years. Their responses will have you in stitches! 

Trainer to a student whose horse stopped at a fence, nearly unseating the rider:
"How many times have I said it, sit up and wait for the horse to jump!
Those who jump first jump alone."

Trainer to a student at a show: Try not to fall off. It's not good for business when my riders fall off at horse shows.

Rider to her horse in jumper ring: "You need to slow down and listen. You don't know where we're going!"

Rider to her horse that spooked at a jump and dumped the rider.
She stands up, dusts herself off, and picks up the reins of the horse, which seems perplexed that the rider is on the ground.

Rider: leads the horse to jump "Is it Scary Now!!! Touch it!!! See, It's Not Scary! There are no dead people under this brush box!"
Trainer: Stop It!!! Leave the ring NOW!!!
Rider: "What are they going to do, NOT give me a ribbon?" - Reluctantly leaves the ring.

Observed at a show:
A rider is sitting on a horse, talking to a trainer.
Gate staff setting up jumps for the next day about 100 yards away - dumps large garbage bag full of jump flowers on the ground.
Formerly half-asleep horse is now wide awake and leaps in the air unseating the rider.
The rider is laughing hysterically as she is literally hanging on by a spur.
Trainer grabs horse who has gone back to sleep.
Rider slowly drops to the ground, still laughing.
EMT's come rushing over thinking rider is hurt, nope, rider is laughing hysterically at her silly horse.

One rider to another walking casually around the warm-up ring:
Rider 1: "I was schooling at home last week and felt like I was leaning forward and hunching over. So I switched up my riding play list to include some Broadway music."
Rider 2: "Did it help?"
Rider 1: "Yes! A few days of " A Chorus Line's Ti*s & A** had me sitting up straight!"

Overheard at the in-gate:
Trainer: And that’s the plan. Got it?
Adult Rider: …
Trainer: Fine! When in doubt, ti*s to Jesus!
*shoos her into the ring*

Overheard at a one-day show:
Announcer: There's a loose horse, and it's a big one with a halter and lead rope on. Seems like he untied himself from the trailer. If you're missing a horse, he's over at the food truck begging for brownies.

Trainer to a rider after her trip:
Trainer: You know you were off course, right?
Rider: Yeah, I know I was supposed to jump the birch fence last and not the green oxer.
Trainer: So, what happened?
Rider: I realized too late I was heading for the wrong jump. If I'd changed course, it would have been ugly, and we wouldn't have gotten a ribbon anyway. So, I made an executive decision to just jump the wrong fence and have a nice last fence.

Trainer to a whining child:
You can trot and whine at the same time. If you can't, this is not the sport for you.

Seen on judges score card:
Rider: "Well, what does that mean??!!"
Trainer: "Scared Me No Ribbon - I told you to slow down! The In and Out was a ONE STRIDE, not a BOUNCE!"


What are some of your favorite stories? 


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